And so I’m back, with plenty more awards to give out to former First Ladies.
Most Awkward Stepmother/First Lady: Julia Tyler
President John Tyler and Julia Gardiner began seeing each other in January 1843, a few months after the death of the First Lady, Letitia Tyler. On February 28, 1844, Tyler took Julia and others on a pleasure cruise around the Potomac River aboard the U.S. Princeton. Afraid that his guests were becoming bored, Tyler allowed a demonstration of the firing capabilities of the ship—which resulted in the freak accident of one of the massive cannons exploding. The explosion killed the Secretary of State, the Secretary of the Navy and other high-ranking U.S. federal officials. The 54-year old President John Tyler barely escaped himself. Oh, and Julia’s father was killed. Concerned that the public might find the forthcoming marriage inappropriate, the couple wed in secret. Later, Tyler’s daughters found out about the marriage and that Tyler’s sons had even been witnesses to the wedding. And then the eldest of Tyler’s daughters, 29-yeard old Mary, met Julia and discovered her new stepmother was 24 years old.
Least Consolable First Lady: Jane Pierce
While her husband Franklin Pierce ran for office, Jane Pierce constantly prayed for him to lose—believing that politics was “the devil’s work.” Frank Pierce was a career politician and the couple had two children die as infants. Jane was convinced these events were related and when Pierce won the Presidency, she knew it would claim their lives. Tragically, fate was much crueler, as on their way to D.C. for the inauguration, their train derailed and the resulting accident crushed their, last, 11-year old son. The adults were unharmed. Frank promptly became a devote atheist, “affirming” his Oath of Office with a hand on a law book. Jane went crazy and spent four years in the upper floors of the White House writing letters to her dead son and raging unintelligibly at White House attendants.
Best Sense of a Good Rebound: Mary Todd Lincoln
Mary Todd Lincoln took up the incredible challenge of equaling the great Abraham Lincoln. Abe spent much of his first year in office in the Congressional Library, reading every book about military strategy that he could. After that, he spent most days and nights at the telegram office, waiting for battle reports and immediately issuing orders back. At the end of each night (sometimes the next morning), Lincoln would come back home and find Mary Todd waiting for him, where they’d then talk about the day’s events. Mary Todd, who spent her days at soldier hospitals, called General Ulysses S. Grant “a butcher” but supported Abe full-heartily. The boyfriend she dumped before marrying Abe was a man called Stephen Douglas—who was later Abraham Lincoln’s opponent in the 1860 presidential election.
Yeah...she didn't really have "a type."
Saved the Most Presidential Lives: Julia Grant
Julia Grant was considered rather plain by her contemporaries but she had something General (and later President) Ulysses Grant could not pull himself away from. In 1852, Grant was assigned to a military base in Oregon—today’s equivalent to being assigned to, well, Oregon. Julia, mother of two at this point, couldn’t travel with him. Grant spent a couple of years wandering around drunk on the West Coast and then resigned to move back to Julia, in Illinois. Had Grant wanted to stay away from Julia, he would have still been on the West Coast for the outbreak of the Civil War, instead of in prime position to decimate the Rebels in Missouri—which he did, creating essentially the only victories the North achieved in the first years of the war. Flash forward four years and Julia takes offense that Mary Todd didn’t approve of Grant’s military strategies. The Lincoln’s then invite the Grants to join them for the premiere of “My American Cousin”—which Julia turns down. Also, Abraham Lincoln might have been a talker during plays. Regardless, Lincoln’s political life was saved by Grant’s victories, Grant’s life was saved by Julia’s dislike of Mary Todd and Andrew Johnson was saved by not having to re-go to war with the South had John Wilkes Booth’s multi-assassination conspiracy been pulled off.
Most Influenced by Her College Years: Lucy Hayes
Lucy Hayes--wife of Rutherford B. Hayes and the first First Lady college graduate--graduated from college in 1850 and while there became a strong proponent for the growing temperance movement—the social effort that meant to rid the country of alcohol and belching. During her time as First Lady, alcohol was banned from the White House, forcing people to drink the far more dangerous, unsanitary and hallucination-inducing tap water. Some politicians became so dehydrated at the White House that they may have drank their own pee, possibly inspiring her (very real) nickname, “Lemonade Lucy.” Her influence on women, higher education and America’s non-drinking culture is still evident today, as college girls are known for not getting a drink with me.
Most Kennedy-esque: Frances Cleveland
In 1873, Oscar Folsom died in a carriage accident but his bachelor friend, law partner, and, soon-to-be president, Grover Cleveland stepped in to help the widow and family. By the 1880s, the public began to suspect Cleveland would marry his old friend’s widow. In 1886--while president--Old Grover did not marry the widow but sidestepped any forth-coming criticism by marrying the widow’s 21-year old daughter, Frances. Frances became an instant celebrity. Everyone wanted a picture of the (beautiful?) girl and her likeness was used to sell everything in the booming consumer culture. Grover Cleveland tried to get Congress to pass a law protecting celebrities from having their image used without permission—but failed. Frances, to her credit, was instrumental in helping early career women and holding receptions with grace and class. After Cleveland’s failed bid for re-election in 1888, Frances reportedly told White House attendants to not touch her shit in the closet because she was going to be back in four years. And she was.
To be continued…
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