Ah yes, the playoffs. Finally, we have arrived at the week that hosts the best wild cards this side of “Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Of course any summaries of the regular season would be woefully inept and premature, so let’s get to the games.
Pittsburgh at Denver
NICK: Let me get this straight, Tim Tebow goes 7-1 in his first run as a starting NFL quarterback, winning most of the games in dramatic fashion. Then, in the most audacious comeback (not perpetrated on the Giants), Tebow lets the Broncos lose three straight games by a combined score of 88-40 to actually end their season. THEN, about thirty minutes after entering their locker room Tebow has the Chargers trump the Raiders, thus catapulting Denver back into the playoff picture. Regardless, Tebow’s tricks have been figured out and that 7-1 streak looks rather mediocre now that none of the fallen teams made it to the playoffs themselves. At this point, I think the Broncos would be better off playing Brady Quinn at quarterback—if for no other reason than to throw the Steelers one helluva curve ball. Frankly, I think the Steelers put together one of the quietest 12-4 seasons in recent memory (their 4 losses all coming from eventual division winners). Steelers will bring some thunder to Mile High and Tebow will go back to being one-half of a quarterback controversy.
MAC: The Tebow Train seems to have derailed. Tebow Time doesn’t even exist anymore. The Steelers, despite the uncertainty of Big Ben, seem like a guarantee to defeat the Broncos that backed their way into the playoffs. But I like magic. I love the idea that Tebow, who can’t get his completion percentage over 50, still has the ability to batter defenses. This Broncos team plays how the Steelers did before the Big Ben era. Basically this ground game is going to slowly chip away at teams. They’ll settle for field goals, but every now and again they will bust out a big play. And because of their clock management that’s all they need. High powered offenses have destroyed the Broncos. The Steelers aren’t really that. Keep the score low and one big play gives them the ability to hold on to a tight game. I say this week they get that play, and they beat the Steelers. Magic.
Cincinnati at Houston
NICK: For me, gauging the Texans is like trying to find meaning in a Clint Eastwood film. Sure, all the pieces are there, and none of the pieces are particularly weak—good at times even—but something just doesn’t add up. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole. It’s a valid point to say the Bengals are a soft 9-7 team, a middle child of the AFC North. Indeed, they haven’t beaten any playoff team; but with the injuries the Texans have suffered, Houston isn’t a playoff team anymore. Cincinnati wins and the 3 of the 4 remaining AFC teams hail from the same division.
MAC: Do we really want to watch this game? How much will Andre Johnson’s possible return affect the quarterback-less Texans? The Bengals have done a great job of beating mediocre teams (9-0) but lost to every playoff team they faced this season (0-7), including against the Texans in Week 14. Neither team has a good shot against New England or Baltimore. I think the Texans have a better shot of making noise in the playoffs with a top defense and rushing attack. Clearly I’m picking the winners based on what I want to see happen vs. what probably will happen so….. Texans.
Detroit at New Orleans
NICK: The Saints got humiliated in last year’s Wild Card game and so they’re going to be ready this time. Beyond that, they are a better team this year and comfortably undefeated at home. The Big Easy, named after my ex-girlfriend (boom!), has housed the latest remake of “The Greatest Show on Turf” as the Saints’ offense set new marks in yardage and points. Seriously, they’re scoring in New Orleans as if every week is Mardi Gras. Drew Brees is going to fire through the Lions’ defense like a Roosevelt hunting party. Saints.
MAC: I predict a lot of points, a lot of passing yards, Suh punches a child wearing a Brees jersey, Suh receives a suspension going into next season, Suh denies punching the child, Suh claims the child hugged his fist so hard that it seemed like a punch, video evidence makes Suh look like a delusional douche, Suh appeals, Suh loses appeal, Suh says he beat the fear into a QB that wasn’t sacked and threw for 300yds/4TDs. Saints march over the Lions.
Atlanta at New York (Giants)
NICK: Winners of 3 of their last 4 games, Peyton Manning, Jr. has led the Giants from the brink of their annual, characteristic, seasoning-ending collapse to a viable chance at coming within two games from the Superbowl. The Falcons, good or not, just are not a very interesting team to me. So, for drama’s sake, I hope the Giants win the chance to be crushed by Green Bay next week. New York.
MAC: Eli’s back has got to hurt by now. The Giants shouldn’t be in the playoffs, but Eli keeps playing football at an elite level. People scoffed when Eli described himself as being among the elite QBs, specifically Tom Brady. Little did we know that he would have arguably the best season of his career. Which is weird because the Giants have straddled .500 all season. The defense has an amazing pass rush and absolutely nothing else. The Giants are dead last in rushing and outside of Manning’s performance, they are in turmoil. Falcons on the other hand are a tough team to judge. They seemed to be rolling, but the Saints lit them up in Week 16. This is a game that the Falcons should win but Eli has kept surprising me all season and the Falcons are clearly vulnerable. Giants
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