This weekend is going to be a global anniversary remembered with millions of dry eyes thanks to a decade passing by, the death of Osama bin Laden, the resurrection of Captain America and a new, exhausting and somewhat manufactured financial crisis that directly affected more lives than the 9-11 attacks.
As I had years ago, I will be making some NFL game day predictions over this season. The first prediction is that every game will note the tenth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. Maybe that prediction doesn't count. So lets get to it.
New Orleans at Green Bay (-4.5)
It seems nuts, I know, to pick the defending World Champion Packers to lose in their home opener and season kick-off, but hey, I want to get a jump on the analysts who always give too much credit to last year. The extended lockout over the off-season didn't hurt all the teams evenly, and the Saints maybe least of all. Drew Brees organized most of the team into unofficial practices and the head office made some strong personnel moves (watch Darrell Sproles if you can). Granted, the Packers didn't go around this off-season acting like they won the most important Superbowl of all-time--like the Saints had one year back--but a repeat is too much to expect in the NFL. Even if the Saints lose, it'll be less than four points. And Drew Brees will be elected to the highest political office he wants after retiring, perhaps re-naming his city "Drew Orleans." (Nice, right?) Saints.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (-1.5)
Joe Flacco was my pick to have a break out season last year but instead he stayed defiantly inconsistent. Like "The Wire," you have to watch a lot of Flacco to see the greatness that only might be there. Moreover, I'm not a gambler who considers each loss one step closer to inevitable winnings. Still, Superbowl losers tend to suffer a worse hangover than Kiefer Sutherland; and that might be my only consolation after finding out Big Ben is just one of those high school jocks I was promised wouldn't amount to anything. He had a Superbowl ring by the age of 23; I just want a microwave that'll cook my pizza rolls evenly. The Baltimore defense should eat people this season. Ravens.
Buffalo at Kansas City (-5.5)
I will generally have Chief predictions on this site, being lodged in K.C. and all. Everything else is just random. Which is kind of how the Chiefs play. Todd Haley's idealism of "the right 52" was shot to hell when WR Jonathan Baldwin started taking swings at his teammates. The Chiefs ended last year 2-5 while playing in the AFC West (which is basically co-ed flag football anymore). Cassel still can't throw a ball quicker than I can get another beer, and he's just not a "playmaker." I think the offense scored thirty points during the entire preseason entirely by accident. And now the Chiefs have a season opener against....Buffalo? Really? Oh, okay. Chiefs cover the spread.
Dallas at New York (Jets) (-3.5)
During Donovan McNabb's tenure in Philadelphia, the team consistently made the playoffs and just as consistently lost on the cusp of going to Disney and meeting the President. I'm just saying that "a team's time" never just comes. The Cowboys' self-destruction last year was more fun than 16 Afro Ninjas put together and rather than tap the YouTube market, Jerry Jones has said he is glad the spotlight is out of Dallas this year. Yeah, I'm sure you hate the spotlight, Jerry. Just as I'm sure he won't have the entire Dallas Cowboys football team buried with him if he keels over before they win a Superbowl. The man wants to hoist up a Superbowl trophy but doesn't want to go about the normal route of just writing the best heist movie of all-time, casting 15 or 16 A to C-list actors, running onto the movie set and switching out the real trophy with a gift shop souvenir. Let the Cowboys stay down, for I have no beef with New York. This spread is a joke; Jets by a lot.
Earliest Superbowl Prediction? Patriots and Eagles, which would just be a great QB battle.
No comments:
Post a Comment